PLANE FULL OF FREAKS!!
As i was getting on the plane from tokyo to portland, i was suddenly struck by the fact that there was an unusually high percentage of freaks, all seeminginly drawn to this specific aeronautical transporter. "what," said i, to myself, "could draw so many skinheaded, tatooed, mustached, anime-costume-wearing, dregs of society-type people all into one, single, metal tube?" then, like the smell of a truckfull of steaming hops driving by on a lonely road in the winter, the answer hit me. portland. this plane was direct to portland. realizing this, i saw them through new eyes, took my nosering down, and took my seat with a smile. to their credit, and to the discredit of united, the northwest airlines flight attendants were the nicest, politest, and cheery flight attendants i've experienced in a long time, in spite of the hippies and the babies. go them!
Some things change- like the yen rate. that changes. some things on the other hand, don't change. getting off the plane in portland, i was instantly depressed by the fact that, at 7 in the morning, it was barely light, and it was drizzling and gloomy, colder than tokyo has ever gotten yet this year. i should have remembered, but, like the smell of a bad fart, it was something that i allowed myself to forget as the soonest possible convinience. 2 sundays ago it was shorts weather at church. we had to turn on the air conditioners. no joke. here, you have to start your car up 30 minutes before you want to use it to get the ice melted from off the transmission. well, it's almost that cold, i swear.
Being back at Bible college is funny. all my friends want me to go out drinking with them on whatever day they finish their finals. i don't really care about it, but it's something that seems to be quite important to them. i think it's all spite. me, i don't care, for i have the ability, though not the desire, to drink whenever i want. these poor, oppressed children, on the other hand, are convinced that freedom is 80 proof, and can't wait to get their hands on it. meeting old friends has been good, too. sometimes i sit and chat with people that i really don't think care about me that much, and i wonder why i put up with it, why i bothered to get a ticket to portland instead of seattle. then, an actual friend walks in and we chat for 2 hours, then i remember. actually, i thought the trip here was worth it after me and rainbow sat and chatted for four hours, then made supper, then her hubby came home, and we all ate supper together and had communion after. that evening, in and of itself, made coming to portland worth it. to me, anyways. it's no real secret that i didn't approve of rainbow and jeffs relationship. or marriage, for that matter. i even went so far as to ask rainbow to not ask me to be in her wedding, since being in someone's wedding sort of shows your support for the couple. ironically, rainbow taught me that trick. zing!
But, as we both realize now, it does no real good to pretend that someone you were best friends with for 4 years of school means nothing to you anymore. maybe if that school were elementary, or a really stupid military girls school or something, but we went to a fairly normal Bible college, and both basically grew into the people we are now largely through the influence of eachother. so, when i left for japan to do youth pastory things, i was actually sad that i would not be able to go to her wedding, although i still wasn't very happy for her. to be honest, i thought jeff was a complete douchebag, and i thought that every nice thing rainbow said about him was her just trying to cover for him, or make excuses for him or something. you know "he was in a bad mood", "he's nervous around new people", "he doesn't hate you, he just would eat your soul if he had the opportuninty", "he hates all his fiance's ex-boyfriends", etc. etc. the only real interaction i ever had with him was at a single event, and, had the role been reversed, i don't think i would have been much better. so, a big apology to jeff for being a bastard to you, if only in my mind.
Now, however, having hung out with them for the second time, i can honstly say that i think their marriage is a good thing, and i fully support them, and i even like jeff. i don't think he's someone i would have gotten to know under normal circumstances, but it's getting easier and more normal to hang out with him every time we do. and rainbow is just fantastic. and i'm really happy for them. so, chalk that one up to a plane full of freaks.
PLANE FULL OF FREAKS!!: 1
RYAN!! : 0
December 16, 2004
December 04, 2004
Look at me!! I'm 2 posts in 2 days!! OH BOY!!!
Sorry about that, but it had to be done. something about union rules or something...
There's different ways to spend my days. one way is to watch simpsons, movies, cartoons, etc. all day, then fall asleep on the couch, head filled with visions of what i spent my day on. then there's doing things that involve, well, doing things. these include (but are not limited to) work.
My job is, for the most part, awesome. i've been realizing more and more that i have the best job in the world. here's the thing- not only do i have to hang out with kids, which is rarely work, and almost always fun, but i have to develop Biblically-based messages and Christ-centered programs. all these things are not as fun for me, but develop me spiritually nevertheless. so, on top of getting paid to hang out with kids, i get paid to have an increasingly deep relationship with Jesus.
The danger is (there's always a danger) that i'm reading my Bible more and more with the "i have to give a sunday school lesson in 2 days" filter engaged, thus, and dangerously, and reminiscent of Bible college, the Bible becomes not an awesome thing to read and get closer to Jesus and understand the nature of God, it becomes an answer key that i rush to at the last minute. and why the last minute, you ask? why is it i always seem to get the least sleep on saturday night? because i procrastinate, that's why. some habits die hard, then there's some habits that don't die at all. and then there's the ones that you do flaming wheelchair-jousting with, but we don't talk about those.
So, if doing time-wasting things are negative points, and doing productive things are positive points, my days are getting more and more balanced. some days are in one extreme or the other, which is to be expected, but on average i think i'm getting better and better. which does not mean that i have all positive points, but rather means, i think, that i'm almost at zero at the end of the day. let's take today as an example:
overslept -1
didn't make breakfast -1
made permission slip for snow camp +1
practiced guitar +2
practiced guitar too long -1
didn't do dishes -1
watched CSI -1
knitted while watching CSI +0.5
bought printable overhead paper +1
worked on sunday school talk in starbucks +1
wrote blog +1
put off choosing games for youth group by writing blog -1
and i think that brings me right up to the present, with a killer score of 0.5!! i am a little sick, which i wish made all my positive points worth more and all my negative ones matter less, cuz really, who wants to work when they're sick!? i should grade myself on a curve when i'm sick. that's it!! bonus +50 for being sick.
LEVEL UP!!
Sorry about that, but it had to be done. something about union rules or something...
There's different ways to spend my days. one way is to watch simpsons, movies, cartoons, etc. all day, then fall asleep on the couch, head filled with visions of what i spent my day on. then there's doing things that involve, well, doing things. these include (but are not limited to) work.
My job is, for the most part, awesome. i've been realizing more and more that i have the best job in the world. here's the thing- not only do i have to hang out with kids, which is rarely work, and almost always fun, but i have to develop Biblically-based messages and Christ-centered programs. all these things are not as fun for me, but develop me spiritually nevertheless. so, on top of getting paid to hang out with kids, i get paid to have an increasingly deep relationship with Jesus.
The danger is (there's always a danger) that i'm reading my Bible more and more with the "i have to give a sunday school lesson in 2 days" filter engaged, thus, and dangerously, and reminiscent of Bible college, the Bible becomes not an awesome thing to read and get closer to Jesus and understand the nature of God, it becomes an answer key that i rush to at the last minute. and why the last minute, you ask? why is it i always seem to get the least sleep on saturday night? because i procrastinate, that's why. some habits die hard, then there's some habits that don't die at all. and then there's the ones that you do flaming wheelchair-jousting with, but we don't talk about those.
So, if doing time-wasting things are negative points, and doing productive things are positive points, my days are getting more and more balanced. some days are in one extreme or the other, which is to be expected, but on average i think i'm getting better and better. which does not mean that i have all positive points, but rather means, i think, that i'm almost at zero at the end of the day. let's take today as an example:
overslept -1
didn't make breakfast -1
made permission slip for snow camp +1
practiced guitar +2
practiced guitar too long -1
didn't do dishes -1
watched CSI -1
knitted while watching CSI +0.5
bought printable overhead paper +1
worked on sunday school talk in starbucks +1
wrote blog +1
put off choosing games for youth group by writing blog -1
and i think that brings me right up to the present, with a killer score of 0.5!! i am a little sick, which i wish made all my positive points worth more and all my negative ones matter less, cuz really, who wants to work when they're sick!? i should grade myself on a curve when i'm sick. that's it!! bonus +50 for being sick.
LEVEL UP!!
December 03, 2004
I'm Back!!
Where was I? lets just say i was....getting the mail. yeah. that's what i was doing. For 3 weeks. and so much has happened since then, that i am faced with 3 options: go into excruciatingly minute detail, and spend the greater portion of the day staring at the screen, pouring my heart out to a bored audience, or (option 2) paraphrase, or (option 3) overlook the last 3 weeks entirely and start with what happened to me yesterday. seeing as though yesterday was pretty boring, and i don't have the desire, motivation, or money needed to produce a gut-wrenchingly long entry, i'll go for option 2.
So here it is: the much awaited "Paraphrase of the Last 3 Weeks"
High school youth group started. it's called "Red Cross" or, just RC, for those of you who like to say more with fewer words. for lack of a better time, it starts right after the middle school group ends, which means a few things- i have to transport everything from the middle school place to the high school place, i have no prep time, and i don't get supper. so far, it has actually worked out alright. except for the first one. that was horrible. there is exactly one other person on staff with me for RC, and her name is cheryl. the first RC included food- a barbecue, actually. and since i was in the middle school youth group, cheryl was going to take care of it. and she was going to do games, and i was going to do the talk. everything had been worked out. except we didn't have a "cheryls' friend goes crazy" contingency plan. i knew i should have added that to my coverage, but it cost a little more, so i didn't go for it. so, yeah, one of her friends (not quite friend, more high-level acquaintance) goes crazy- has an actual psychotic break with reality. it started saturday night, then she came to church and was getting worse and worse, then, a little after church and sunday school, they called someone who knows some things, and he told them to get her to a psychiatric hospital right away. and since cheryl was there with her, and has prison guard training and counseling training, and was the one carrying her to the car and sitting on her when she was in, cheryl ended up going all the way to the hospital, and missing almost all of RC. so, all my carefully crafted plans were for crap. in the end it worked out anyways, but, since i'm paraphrasing, i won't tell you how.
Let's see, what else has happened to me...i got really really lonely almost 2 weeks ago. that was actually probably the most painful thing i've ever dealt with. i know i'm here alone, and i know that i'm more effective in ministry being single and not looking than i would be being not single and constantly on the hunt. and i know that there's an emotional void in my heart somewhere that i would like to be filled. and sometimes that sucks, but mostly i ask God to fill that part of me with Himself, and He does. but the other week i was coming off a really great high- sundays actually leave me pretty energized now, which, i'm pretty sure, means i'm turning into an extrovert, which is weird. so monday rolls around, and i'm sad and lonely, and i start to get a little depressed. and i start to get a little apathetic about being depressed. very dangerous- even if i thought of a solution that was healthy, i wasn't likely to do anything about it. so i sat around watching episode after episode of "rurouni kenshin", a great old japanese cartoon, feeling worse and worse about myself. i decided something needed to be done, so i went out of my house, and found there in my mailbox a letter from my mom. most of it was just updates on what was going on in their lives, but at the very end, it said something to the effect of "i am so proud of you and that you are following God..." i didn't make it to the end before i started crying. i realized then that i was believing lies about myself, that i was believing that i was unloved and unloveable, and stupid crap like that. and my mom has this habit of writing verses from the Bible on the edge of her letters, and the one on this letter was from isaiah: "fear not, for I am with you. be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." and, at that point, i pretty much broke down. pretty cool, huh?
After that came thanksgiving. last minute-ish i had been invited to takayama, the beach place where a lot of missionary-types have cabins and whatnot. i chose to accept, and spent thanksgiving with the hardeman family. they are big into adoption and fostering, so as of now they have 5 kids and were fostering a week-old baby. being with their family was the best kind of therapy. just being in a family again, being around people and kids 24/7, was like jumping into a swimming pool when you're on fire- i've never done that, but it seems like it would be that nice. about 4 other families were up there, so for thanksgiving we had a progressive dinner thing where we had appetizers for an hour at one house, then turkey and potatoes and casserole at another, and desserts somewhere else. then we all went for a walk on the beach and built a fire and sat around talking and laughing. i haven't had thanksgiving with my family in years, but it felt like i did that night...minus the whole having-your-family-in-the-same-country thing.
And during that whole time it was impossible to communicate with me. i dropped my cell phone in a bunch of water the morning we were leaving for thanksgiving, so i had it off the whole time, sitting in the sun trying to get it to dry. it was on when i dropped it in, so i was really really worried that it had shorted out. once i got back home i turned my oven on really low and stuck it in there, and it works perfectly now. i didn't realize how much i rely on that thing already, but it's the only place i've got numbers for like a hundred people. and the only number a hundred people have for me, and some of those people are pretty important.
My car is on the road now, being driven my me, 100% legally, complete with insurance and everything. i lent it to some people over break when i wasn't using it, and they drove it more than 700km (like 420 mi.) and it went 120kph (over 70mph) easily. i was so proud of the little guy! my only concern is that i drive it too much- when i didn't have a car i rode my bike everywhere, and that was fine. now i seem to be able to make a lot of great excuses for reasons i should be driving my car. cars are black holes for money, though. even though i got it for free (thank you, mr. carrico), it cost me about $100 to get the registration and plates changed, and another $100 to start insurance, which is only $50/month, but still, that's $50. and come january, i'll have to throw down at least another $500 to get the government check up to make sure that it's not in bad shape, which it kinda is, so i'll have to pay more to get the hole in the muffler repaired, and anything else they find wrong. kawaguchi-san is my point man for this sort of thing- he takes care of everything, then comes to me and explains it in rapid-fire japanese, even though he speaks passable english- as least as well, if not better, than i speak japanese. i pretty much nod my head until he asks for money, which i give to him, assuming that he is not ripping me off. actually, he charges like a quarter of what other men in his position normally charge, and he is a Christian, though a little eccentric in his beliefs and theologies, so i'm sure he's not ripping me off. well, pretty sure.
My plans are to be landing in portland on december 13th on northwest's flight 6, arriving at a jovial 7:15 am. this is an actual ticket, which means that there is 99.8% chance that i will actually be on this flight, as opposed to flying standby, which is far from that certain. i'll be stuck in portland until at least the 21st, which is justin's wedding, so i'll get a lot of time to hang out with friends and enemies in portland before heading up to tacoma to spend Christmas with the fam.
Where was I? lets just say i was....getting the mail. yeah. that's what i was doing. For 3 weeks. and so much has happened since then, that i am faced with 3 options: go into excruciatingly minute detail, and spend the greater portion of the day staring at the screen, pouring my heart out to a bored audience, or (option 2) paraphrase, or (option 3) overlook the last 3 weeks entirely and start with what happened to me yesterday. seeing as though yesterday was pretty boring, and i don't have the desire, motivation, or money needed to produce a gut-wrenchingly long entry, i'll go for option 2.
So here it is: the much awaited "Paraphrase of the Last 3 Weeks"
High school youth group started. it's called "Red Cross" or, just RC, for those of you who like to say more with fewer words. for lack of a better time, it starts right after the middle school group ends, which means a few things- i have to transport everything from the middle school place to the high school place, i have no prep time, and i don't get supper. so far, it has actually worked out alright. except for the first one. that was horrible. there is exactly one other person on staff with me for RC, and her name is cheryl. the first RC included food- a barbecue, actually. and since i was in the middle school youth group, cheryl was going to take care of it. and she was going to do games, and i was going to do the talk. everything had been worked out. except we didn't have a "cheryls' friend goes crazy" contingency plan. i knew i should have added that to my coverage, but it cost a little more, so i didn't go for it. so, yeah, one of her friends (not quite friend, more high-level acquaintance) goes crazy- has an actual psychotic break with reality. it started saturday night, then she came to church and was getting worse and worse, then, a little after church and sunday school, they called someone who knows some things, and he told them to get her to a psychiatric hospital right away. and since cheryl was there with her, and has prison guard training and counseling training, and was the one carrying her to the car and sitting on her when she was in, cheryl ended up going all the way to the hospital, and missing almost all of RC. so, all my carefully crafted plans were for crap. in the end it worked out anyways, but, since i'm paraphrasing, i won't tell you how.
Let's see, what else has happened to me...i got really really lonely almost 2 weeks ago. that was actually probably the most painful thing i've ever dealt with. i know i'm here alone, and i know that i'm more effective in ministry being single and not looking than i would be being not single and constantly on the hunt. and i know that there's an emotional void in my heart somewhere that i would like to be filled. and sometimes that sucks, but mostly i ask God to fill that part of me with Himself, and He does. but the other week i was coming off a really great high- sundays actually leave me pretty energized now, which, i'm pretty sure, means i'm turning into an extrovert, which is weird. so monday rolls around, and i'm sad and lonely, and i start to get a little depressed. and i start to get a little apathetic about being depressed. very dangerous- even if i thought of a solution that was healthy, i wasn't likely to do anything about it. so i sat around watching episode after episode of "rurouni kenshin", a great old japanese cartoon, feeling worse and worse about myself. i decided something needed to be done, so i went out of my house, and found there in my mailbox a letter from my mom. most of it was just updates on what was going on in their lives, but at the very end, it said something to the effect of "i am so proud of you and that you are following God..." i didn't make it to the end before i started crying. i realized then that i was believing lies about myself, that i was believing that i was unloved and unloveable, and stupid crap like that. and my mom has this habit of writing verses from the Bible on the edge of her letters, and the one on this letter was from isaiah: "fear not, for I am with you. be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." and, at that point, i pretty much broke down. pretty cool, huh?
After that came thanksgiving. last minute-ish i had been invited to takayama, the beach place where a lot of missionary-types have cabins and whatnot. i chose to accept, and spent thanksgiving with the hardeman family. they are big into adoption and fostering, so as of now they have 5 kids and were fostering a week-old baby. being with their family was the best kind of therapy. just being in a family again, being around people and kids 24/7, was like jumping into a swimming pool when you're on fire- i've never done that, but it seems like it would be that nice. about 4 other families were up there, so for thanksgiving we had a progressive dinner thing where we had appetizers for an hour at one house, then turkey and potatoes and casserole at another, and desserts somewhere else. then we all went for a walk on the beach and built a fire and sat around talking and laughing. i haven't had thanksgiving with my family in years, but it felt like i did that night...minus the whole having-your-family-in-the-same-country thing.
And during that whole time it was impossible to communicate with me. i dropped my cell phone in a bunch of water the morning we were leaving for thanksgiving, so i had it off the whole time, sitting in the sun trying to get it to dry. it was on when i dropped it in, so i was really really worried that it had shorted out. once i got back home i turned my oven on really low and stuck it in there, and it works perfectly now. i didn't realize how much i rely on that thing already, but it's the only place i've got numbers for like a hundred people. and the only number a hundred people have for me, and some of those people are pretty important.
My car is on the road now, being driven my me, 100% legally, complete with insurance and everything. i lent it to some people over break when i wasn't using it, and they drove it more than 700km (like 420 mi.) and it went 120kph (over 70mph) easily. i was so proud of the little guy! my only concern is that i drive it too much- when i didn't have a car i rode my bike everywhere, and that was fine. now i seem to be able to make a lot of great excuses for reasons i should be driving my car. cars are black holes for money, though. even though i got it for free (thank you, mr. carrico), it cost me about $100 to get the registration and plates changed, and another $100 to start insurance, which is only $50/month, but still, that's $50. and come january, i'll have to throw down at least another $500 to get the government check up to make sure that it's not in bad shape, which it kinda is, so i'll have to pay more to get the hole in the muffler repaired, and anything else they find wrong. kawaguchi-san is my point man for this sort of thing- he takes care of everything, then comes to me and explains it in rapid-fire japanese, even though he speaks passable english- as least as well, if not better, than i speak japanese. i pretty much nod my head until he asks for money, which i give to him, assuming that he is not ripping me off. actually, he charges like a quarter of what other men in his position normally charge, and he is a Christian, though a little eccentric in his beliefs and theologies, so i'm sure he's not ripping me off. well, pretty sure.
My plans are to be landing in portland on december 13th on northwest's flight 6, arriving at a jovial 7:15 am. this is an actual ticket, which means that there is 99.8% chance that i will actually be on this flight, as opposed to flying standby, which is far from that certain. i'll be stuck in portland until at least the 21st, which is justin's wedding, so i'll get a lot of time to hang out with friends and enemies in portland before heading up to tacoma to spend Christmas with the fam.
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