I'm Back!!

Where was I? lets just say i was....getting the mail. yeah. that's what i was doing. For 3 weeks. and so much has happened since then, that i am faced with 3 options: go into excruciatingly minute detail, and spend the greater portion of the day staring at the screen, pouring my heart out to a bored audience, or (option 2) paraphrase, or (option 3) overlook the last 3 weeks entirely and start with what happened to me yesterday. seeing as though yesterday was pretty boring, and i don't have the desire, motivation, or money needed to produce a gut-wrenchingly long entry, i'll go for option 2.

So here it is: the much awaited "Paraphrase of the Last 3 Weeks"

High school youth group started. it's called "Red Cross" or, just RC, for those of you who like to say more with fewer words. for lack of a better time, it starts right after the middle school group ends, which means a few things- i have to transport everything from the middle school place to the high school place, i have no prep time, and i don't get supper. so far, it has actually worked out alright. except for the first one. that was horrible. there is exactly one other person on staff with me for RC, and her name is cheryl. the first RC included food- a barbecue, actually. and since i was in the middle school youth group, cheryl was going to take care of it. and she was going to do games, and i was going to do the talk. everything had been worked out. except we didn't have a "cheryls' friend goes crazy" contingency plan. i knew i should have added that to my coverage, but it cost a little more, so i didn't go for it. so, yeah, one of her friends (not quite friend, more high-level acquaintance) goes crazy- has an actual psychotic break with reality. it started saturday night, then she came to church and was getting worse and worse, then, a little after church and sunday school, they called someone who knows some things, and he told them to get her to a psychiatric hospital right away. and since cheryl was there with her, and has prison guard training and counseling training, and was the one carrying her to the car and sitting on her when she was in, cheryl ended up going all the way to the hospital, and missing almost all of RC. so, all my carefully crafted plans were for crap. in the end it worked out anyways, but, since i'm paraphrasing, i won't tell you how.

Let's see, what else has happened to me...i got really really lonely almost 2 weeks ago. that was actually probably the most painful thing i've ever dealt with. i know i'm here alone, and i know that i'm more effective in ministry being single and not looking than i would be being not single and constantly on the hunt. and i know that there's an emotional void in my heart somewhere that i would like to be filled. and sometimes that sucks, but mostly i ask God to fill that part of me with Himself, and He does. but the other week i was coming off a really great high- sundays actually leave me pretty energized now, which, i'm pretty sure, means i'm turning into an extrovert, which is weird. so monday rolls around, and i'm sad and lonely, and i start to get a little depressed. and i start to get a little apathetic about being depressed. very dangerous- even if i thought of a solution that was healthy, i wasn't likely to do anything about it. so i sat around watching episode after episode of "rurouni kenshin", a great old japanese cartoon, feeling worse and worse about myself. i decided something needed to be done, so i went out of my house, and found there in my mailbox a letter from my mom. most of it was just updates on what was going on in their lives, but at the very end, it said something to the effect of "i am so proud of you and that you are following God..." i didn't make it to the end before i started crying. i realized then that i was believing lies about myself, that i was believing that i was unloved and unloveable, and stupid crap like that. and my mom has this habit of writing verses from the Bible on the edge of her letters, and the one on this letter was from isaiah: "fear not, for I am with you. be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." and, at that point, i pretty much broke down. pretty cool, huh?

After that came thanksgiving. last minute-ish i had been invited to takayama, the beach place where a lot of missionary-types have cabins and whatnot. i chose to accept, and spent thanksgiving with the hardeman family. they are big into adoption and fostering, so as of now they have 5 kids and were fostering a week-old baby. being with their family was the best kind of therapy. just being in a family again, being around people and kids 24/7, was like jumping into a swimming pool when you're on fire- i've never done that, but it seems like it would be that nice. about 4 other families were up there, so for thanksgiving we had a progressive dinner thing where we had appetizers for an hour at one house, then turkey and potatoes and casserole at another, and desserts somewhere else. then we all went for a walk on the beach and built a fire and sat around talking and laughing. i haven't had thanksgiving with my family in years, but it felt like i did that night...minus the whole having-your-family-in-the-same-country thing.

And during that whole time it was impossible to communicate with me. i dropped my cell phone in a bunch of water the morning we were leaving for thanksgiving, so i had it off the whole time, sitting in the sun trying to get it to dry. it was on when i dropped it in, so i was really really worried that it had shorted out. once i got back home i turned my oven on really low and stuck it in there, and it works perfectly now. i didn't realize how much i rely on that thing already, but it's the only place i've got numbers for like a hundred people. and the only number a hundred people have for me, and some of those people are pretty important.

My car is on the road now, being driven my me, 100% legally, complete with insurance and everything. i lent it to some people over break when i wasn't using it, and they drove it more than 700km (like 420 mi.) and it went 120kph (over 70mph) easily. i was so proud of the little guy! my only concern is that i drive it too much- when i didn't have a car i rode my bike everywhere, and that was fine. now i seem to be able to make a lot of great excuses for reasons i should be driving my car. cars are black holes for money, though. even though i got it for free (thank you, mr. carrico), it cost me about $100 to get the registration and plates changed, and another $100 to start insurance, which is only $50/month, but still, that's $50. and come january, i'll have to throw down at least another $500 to get the government check up to make sure that it's not in bad shape, which it kinda is, so i'll have to pay more to get the hole in the muffler repaired, and anything else they find wrong. kawaguchi-san is my point man for this sort of thing- he takes care of everything, then comes to me and explains it in rapid-fire japanese, even though he speaks passable english- as least as well, if not better, than i speak japanese. i pretty much nod my head until he asks for money, which i give to him, assuming that he is not ripping me off. actually, he charges like a quarter of what other men in his position normally charge, and he is a Christian, though a little eccentric in his beliefs and theologies, so i'm sure he's not ripping me off. well, pretty sure.

My plans are to be landing in portland on december 13th on northwest's flight 6, arriving at a jovial 7:15 am. this is an actual ticket, which means that there is 99.8% chance that i will actually be on this flight, as opposed to flying standby, which is far from that certain. i'll be stuck in portland until at least the 21st, which is justin's wedding, so i'll get a lot of time to hang out with friends and enemies in portland before heading up to tacoma to spend Christmas with the fam.